Enough is enough

Well well..
There's this new thing called social interview in Facebook..whereby it makes out simple to hard questions about the people on your list. So I came across this question by ******.

SocialInterview.com asked me "If Caressa Ming was a gangster-rapper, what would his/her street name be?"
I answered "GSP"

Btw, if you don't know, you can skip the question.

HEY YOU,

I was thinking and thinking..what was GSP..Then a friend brought up to my attention..the high school nick name they used to give me..You see..
That was in high school. Yes, I was flat..but it's not a criminal offense and
whether i was flatter or am fuller now, i don't need your comments.

We were once close where you all could laugh at me and taunt me with your class-less statements calling me "She-Man" and a "Trans", saying i was "BIG", whisper about the size of my boobs and everything else. I let it be 'cause we were friends but since you mentioned "I WON'T TURN MY BACK FROM MY FRIENDS FOR THIS KIND OF GIRL" (sounds broken but it was mentioned in mandarin)I lost every bit of respect for you and i don't think i can find the place to associate myself with you.

Whether my boobs are big or small or i am fat or thin..I am still happy with myself. No matter what i do or how i look, it is none of your concern because i am not your girlfriend, so why not you go scatter back and keep your comments for your girlfriend and leave me alone.THANK YOU.

An eye opener

Today was a great eye opener for me..
I once was quoted saying.."Malaysian celebrities thinks that their big
shots but the truth is no one asks for their autograph when they walk
around because to our eyes they are nothing but to their eyes their on
top of everyone.SNOBS!"

However, today was different. Thanks to principles of interviewing class..
Our task was to interview a celebrity..At first i choose to interview a dude whose obsessed with himself, no time management and a FFK king...who thinks he is Malaysia's hot celebrity..LOL..I mean
honestly, who does he think he is, he hasn't appeared on any movies in the
cinema. And still he gives that DIVA attitude.

So, i then resorted to Lum Tuck Weng a.k.a Jack Lim. Mom knows his wife, so
she helped me set up an interview with them. Honestly, they were the nicest people..
and to imagine that i forgot to take a picture with him as evidence that i did
my work, i was so embarrassed and i didn't dare to call him back after i left
the cafe. To my amazement, he actually called me back and told me.."i think you
forgot to take a picture.(in cantonese of course.)"

I went back and took a picture with him (while he was eating and he got up immediately and swallowed his food so he wouldn't keep me waiting.)
I thanked him profusely and he just told me,
i didn't study much and i hope other who have the privilege to do so can excel. Whether it was from the heart or not, he can choose to not do the interview after rushing from his meeting, but yet he did and he spent almost two hours talking to me.
I guess i always kind of liked him when i saw him in those old HVD dramas, in the movie Ah Long and Love matters. And boy, i was kind of glad that i was his fan cause he didn't disappoint me at all.

I really couldn't digest why they were so obliging, sincere and nice.They even showed me a video of their baby boy, Lucas at 6 months saying his first word "papa" and at 7 months.."daddy"!I guess lil'll Lucas(who looks like a mixed chinese baby and is so dam adorable) inherited daddy's genes and mommy's good looks. He gave me really personal information including on how he proposed to his wife, his past and so much more.

In Malaysia, when you're a celebrity no one recognizes you, but i am so dam sure many chinese people recognize him especially when he has appeared in two of Jack Neoh's great movies.

He even told me that he took in the english name Jack because he was a Jack of all traits and a master of nothing. He had a very bright personality despite his tired face after a long day of work and i know he is the kind of person who never gives up. Nine years being in the entertainment industry, he made his grand entrance on the tenth year with the great support of his wife and he is still going dam strong after 16 years.

I just realized, it's their great humble and sincere attitude that brings them prosperity, happiness and love.





One of the nicest celebrities i know, this includes Miss Chinese International Pageant Malaysia 2007 or 2006 (i think), Annabelle Kong

Ps:And to whom it may concern, i've got my interview with a renowed MALAYSIAN REAL CELEBRITY and for you, I HOPE YOU FIND HUMBLENESS SOMEWHERE CAUSE BEING 30 AND CAR-LESS + A CELEBRITY IS SO NOT COOL. LET'S HOPE YOUR CHEAP HAIR CUT AND MOVIES WILL BRING YOU SOMEWHERE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ATTITUDE AT ALL. YOU'RE JUST A SHELL
AND YOU DON'T NEED AN EXTRAORDINARY PERSON TO KNOW YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST SO PREDICTABLE. "CELEBRITY" STATUS SWELLED UP YOUR HEAD SO BIG THAT YOU CAN'T LOOK FURTHER THAN YOUR NOSE NO MORE.

Two things that annoyed me.

Two things i hate today..
Diva's.
Let's say..
you're a local celebrity..
you walk around and no one notices you..
people don't want your autograph
and if someone say..hey..it's..what's his name??
The other will go..what..who?He is a celebrity?
So to whom it may concern,
When people treat you as a celebrity,
They are doing you a favor because..
they recognize you as a celebrity..
to make you feel better so that you won't
feel that your cheap TV programmes and 50 dollars
haircut is a waste.You just pissed off the bitch in me!



Dindran just sent me this link..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7021723.stm

it says..Beyonce cancelled coming to Malaysia..i think it was a while ago..
but that's not my point..check the dress codes of Performers that come to Malaysia..even Indonesia a muslim country doesn't have that...:

Stefani wore sober outfits at a show in August, calling it a "major sacrifice".

She put jackets over her tops and leotards underneath her skirts and dresses, to conform to the guidelines during the concert.

Official guidelines about performances in Malaysia state that female artists must cover up from the top of the chest to the knees.

Performers are also forbidden from jumping, shouting or embracing members of the audience.

Anyways...
I don't know if this is the present or past.
my point here is..Performers are meant to have outrageous
outfits. That's why there is a term for these outfit..and it's
called performing outfits!duh!

A new step.

Let's say..i had a relapse..but i didn't give up..
I'm still going strong..
I started something new. Badminton. After 6 years.
You see..i barely exercise..ask me to take jog..i'll walk
and sit every 5 minutes..ask me to go to the gym..i'll stay in
the steam room for an hour..ask me to dance..i'll go for a dance
or two and forget the rest..ask me to do yoga..and you'll find me asleep
in less than 5..I know it's factual that i am lazy..i don't have much determination..especially when it comes to exercising alone.But...
It was a good feeling to really sweat it out..I exercised my laughter..'cause it was hilarious and my body..
I fell a zillion times..my legs were wobbly cause i played from 10.30
to 1.00 with only a 1 minute break for water every hour.
My arms are aching as i'm typing..i'm tired..my legs hurt from cramp..
silly ol' me didn't do any warm up since the last time i excercised (besides
shopping) was last year. Shoulders..well..needless to lsay..aching..the thighs..
must i say more..hmmm..I hate the way my body feels now..but..i love it too..
it hurts..but it tells me something..

If i fail today,try again tomorrow,
but don't give up..and that's a rule.

and i want to add something else to this rule of mine..

because one day, you know you'll succeed.

She had a dream

She had a dream. She couldn't sleep.

She became Fat.Too Fat to Live.

This girl.

Once upon a time,
there was a little chubby girl.
She grew up in a world, where people
loved to pinch her face, hug her and kissed her.

As she grew, so did her chubbiness.Unlike before, people
didn't love her as much. She was such a big frumpy thing who was
such a clumsy bumsy that would either break things or hurt people
when their playing because she doesn't know her strength.

She one day realized that every time in swim class, she was the last. In gym
class, she was the last. When playing catching, she would always
become the catcher (basically who gets caught becomes the catcher)
and no one would replace her.

When she was 10, it was then did she understood that FAT means UGLY.The first person who told her she was Fat was her aunt. The second, her mom.
She was called Fat, teased at school and home. Her sisters made her run around and chase them because they knew she couldn't run. She noticed too, that she was bigger than her sisters in every way, some friend even called her a Transvestite because she was big bone(big bone comes from excessive food consumption since a young age) Given rude remarks from family members,"you should give some food to your sisters, their so thin..you're too fat...you can't catch me 'cause you're too FAT!...She's so round..." It pierced her heart.

She brushed it off as daddy hugged her and said, these are baby fats. It'll
go away. At 13, the rude remarks became more hurtful. Mom often reminded her on the way to loose weight, what to eat and so on. This made her even more sensitive. Then, she decided to go through,PROJECT DIET.

She went on project diet for years. Trying not to eat,to not eat rice, to drink
only soya bean, to consume only water, all which showed results but she was too
blind to see. As the years passed, she grew normal, thinking she was still fat,
she carried on. Mommy saw the problem and tried to rectify the damage done since 8 years old. But it was too late.

When she was 18, the years of project diet turned health hazardous. She was not
only boobless, she grew lumps too. She underwent two surgeries before she turned 20 which left a deep scar.

However, the only scar that she remembers, is the scar FAT. Up to today she believes that she is fat though all says she's thin. She can't control what she thinks and how she thinks of herself. The word FAT breaks her heart. Sometimes she feels like she's drowning in her own imagination. She wants to believe she's not fat, but she just don't know how. She regretted project diet as she was teased with something new. "Airport" because she was boobless.

People thinks she wants attention by calling herself fat, little do they realize that she lost her self-esteem in the battle of self recognition.I know this girl.

Project Renewed

It ain't easy when you're hooked for years.
It's basically the air you breathe..your desert
after your meal,your food when you're hungry,
your aspirin when you have a headache,your sponstan
when it hurts, your anti anxiety when your stress...

But if you failed today..
Try again tomorrow.
But don't give up,
'cause that's a rule.

and there goes another day

Went out with the girls today..
(Christie, Avril, Jade and Joseph chau ah gua)..lol
Went to Kim gary..had ouR bities and a whole delicious
deserts for our ears..Gossip..Well..as we chatted away..
my throat felt that it was being cut by a blade everytime i
swallowed my saliva..it was as if my saliva was big piece of
large sharp rock cutting the sides of my throat as it went in..
Pain...It's been..six days..i feel like..definitely not a new improved me
(or maybe not now) As disgusting as the taste of ciggies were with it's bitter taste tingling on your taste buds and also the stench that followed u everywhere..I longed for it.I decided to take a stick then..You see..i'm the kind of person with 0% determination...as i reached out for it..Jade shook her head and gave me that look..you know..the kindda look ur mom gives u when u're doing something wrong..Yup..Jade gave me the mommy says no look.I thought for awhile and my hands fell back onto my lap.Haihzz...I've been fagging away for 8 years..things became serious after i joined IACT..i would smoke 2 big packs a day.it sucked.it made me broke.Joining SEGi wasn't as bad as IACT..i didn't smoke as much..but...i couldn't live a day without at least a stick. Honestly..i wished i hadn't started because stopping makes me agitated..hungry..fat..sick and depressed..

Anyways..we went shopping too..i bought a bag i have longed for for 3 months..a charles&keith black bag..I LOVE IT so much and i don't regret buying it..and i bought two tank tops from top shop from the birhtday voucher amanda gave me..in total i spent..RM 158.40..hehe..but Avril spent more than RM500.00...lol..crazyness..all in one day...lol..Well..i received a call from a fren who told me i have MUET exams tomoro!WTF....dam SEGi!!SEGi MANAGEMENT SUCKS..LECTURERS SUCKS..(EXCEPT A FEW) ADP SUCKS..LIFT SUCKS...WHY CAN'T THEY BLOODY HELL INFORM PEOPLE..CURSE THEM!

Irony

It was so simple to lift a stick..
So simple to like it's sickening smell..
So simple to be addicted...
I looked back..
8 years...
Now..it's so hard to put this stick down,
So hard to forget its smell..
So hard to breathe without it..
I feel..
I'm succumbing to it..slowly..
It's calling my name..
Just one last time...
I close my eyes..and walk away..
and wonder 'bout
the irony of life.