Icy-Cold

It's been awhile since I spoke to you bloggy..
Ugh..Today was one of those days..
I had to rush my blardy assignment that is due
tomorrow..the dammm computer had to like shut down for
4 freaking times before listening to me!Ugh..I felt
like hitting the computer into pieces..I kept banging the table
cos I was indescribably angry...Thank God I saved my work
like every 15 minutes..Amen to that!



Today was an icy cold day..hated it..but I gotta look at it this way..It can be warm everyday..there must be balance..right?

Anyway..thank god i finished it..all I have to do is my presentation slides..
hehehehe...but the thought of presenting in front of sooo many lecturers freaks me out..Oh ya..I officially got a real proper job..not gonna say where first..will just
see how it goes..Am sooo starting on the 16th..and I can dress up for this job..hehehe..yipppeee...me loves to dress up...I'm just in one of those emo modes today..tearing up for unexplainable reasons..usual me..but come to think of it..memories of those rainbow sugar bedded cotton candy sometimes diverts the attention.



You'll be seeing a lot of me once Padma's assignment is over bloggy woggy..

A thought

All this while,
she sat by him waiting for him
to say he loved her..
And as she waited..
So many things came to her mind..
She dare not move..
nor whisper...
She just knew that she had to be there..
She sat till the sun came down and how
the moonlight came and went..
The skies turn black and all she sees..
Is the reflection of herself..
She turned to look,
And he's just there..She reaches out
but he ignores..
The time just came to move on now,
And he turns back and look at her..
She heads for that door..
The knob turns open and he stands up..
Those words just came.."I love you...
To move or not she remains confused..
A little dream or a living reality..
As tears rolled down her cheek and she twitch..
Confusion lies within those drops of water..
A painted perfect picture or just a little cracked vase..
It's just too late..
She stood there still with thoughts all over..
What should she do or how can she now?
A step forward or ten steps back?

Who is she?

Seeking..Finding..Time...

It's like those little candy bars you see
at a shop..you want it but you're afraid..
You have another candy bar in hand..what do you do?

A little girl with the desire to love..
She fell in love..thought she met her prince charming..
and all takes a nasty turn..He took her heart away..along with
her smile..She lost her life...her desire for happiness..
confused as he took her heart..he swept her off
her feet..made her and broke her..

Lying there,
A boy came.
He picked those broken pieces and made her..
She remembered how to smile..
How to be young..
How to live..
How to grow and be herself..

She loves "he"..
but remains confused of an unexplainable feeling..
She likes "boy" but know that she's no good for him..
If only she could read him like a book..
Whatever is it..
come what may..
She and "boy" will always care for each other..
She and "he" remains a mystery..
As for now..
No thinking required..just feel..
Enjoy the music while it lasts..

Memories of tomorrow are special because you can look at yesterday and smile to remember each single drop of sugar coated cotton candy..Let's pray these hearts have what it takes.

Who is she?
A bitch?A slut? you decide.

A list of Christmas wishes..

People wish for richness...hot guys or girls and loads and loads of material stuffs..
My wish is also something unachievable..but if Santa came to me and asked my what's my wish..I'll give him this list..

First on my list would be this:
1. Everyone around me to be happy.

And the rest are...:
1. A guy who loves me for who I am..
2. Who cuddles me to sleep, hugs me from behind till I fall asleep..
3. Who kisses me on my forehead and pats me to sleep..
4. Who looks at me with those loving eyes while I'm asleep..
5. Who is loyal to me..
6. Who understands me well enough..
7. Who respects me well..
8. Who pampers me like a baby..
9. Who would carry me until I fall asleep..
10. Who will protect me..
11. Who keeps his promise..
12. Who trust me..
13. Who holds my hand through those stormy days..
14. Who be himself around me..(even if it means not bathing for a week..=_=')
15. Who I can talk to..as a friend or a lover..
16. Who don't get bored easily..=(
17. Who smiles because I smile...and makes me smile when I cry..
18. Who sings me to sleep..
19. Who kiss me in the morning although we haven't brushed our teeth..=) (disgusting..but..oh well!)
20. Who thinks i'm beautiful although I just got up..=)
21. And last but not least..he must be able to cook...a guy that can cook is awesomely hot!Lovesss...

But..looks like this list will never get to Santa's hand..cos these guys are extinct..hmmmm..I think I'm asking for too much..=)but..oh well..it's good to dream a little isn't it?

Anticipation

Beneath those clear milky seas of lust..
Lies another story of anticipation..
Where all is but too well..
And how those golden sun of dangling sequins..
It's all just another fairytale of little
endings and big surprises..
The anticipation of the king's greatest secret..
Lies within the enchanted door with no keys..
Of daisies and roses of little white flutters..
Of the sky and mountains of little pink flowers..
Little by little those raindrops turns golden..
And of the little golden drops turns a stone of
pink silver reflections..
Those little sun of blue-ish little cotton candy of desire..
A stormy day and all is gone..none other so..the light remains..
Little by little it disappears..with just a smile from the suns of
the thorny petals of anticipation..

A little something in everything

Living in those little clouds where
all's but just that little fairytale..
A non-existence box..
Of the little word perfection..
Like life's first day..
Ignorant and blind.
A step forward as the sun reflects..
That pretty little color..
Of little golden daisies..
A beautiful sight of little white flutters..
It's just your reflection of what's so golden..
A touch of red..a little red..for what's it worth..
So very much more..
The big bright sun..A tap into those rainy days..
for the nothings of tomorrow..As rainbow of little
yesterdays go through the winter wonderlands..
With reflections of gold onto those little streaks
of water..Those little birds..
With those beats of air..A magic of little rose petals..

a needle and thread

I wish there was a needle and thread to sew those broken pieces together.

Lost in the sea of the sky

It's there,
You think you know what's way above.
You step back, wait..And all you'll be waiting for
is to see those stars when the sun is up. A glimpse..
That's all.

Now all you're left with is yourself..
Wondering through those cloudy sky,
Eyes lost in the sea of a once upon a time..
Dreams of happily every after shattered..
Fairy tales are hopes..
Hopes of never ending dreams..

Acceptance

A past of bumpy roads that brings nothings in everything..
Left behind with memories of yesterday to bid the future goodbye..
This train ain't no waiting for no one..
As passengers bid farewell..
Trains will keep coming..
But is it worth that wait?
Memories of nothings to make memories something.
Forgiveness of yesterday for acceptance of tomorrow..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gush of wind,
Blows through the silver linen silky snow..
With droplets of little rain in the gloomy clouds,
The silver linen silky snow
Seeks those gloomy clouds,
A risk to take.

Cotton Candy

They rainy sky wraps the Cotton Candy,
But a gush of wind blows these dreams away,
A little piece is all that's left and rainbow
reflects..within the palm where berries covers..
like a sunken ship it disappears into berries of strawberries,
As rainy clouds wraps the silver linen light.

Disappointment

It's not a good day today..
I start the day with morning tears..
I seek to find the answers..the comfort in the sky..
But to all in vain,
I'm used to lifting weights..
It's my weight to be lifted and not for others to share..
Why burden more when you can lift those weights?

Life's not easy,
I'm just starting..
You want me to be someone I'm not..
"I told you so.." you said..

Can't you see..
I'm just so different..a retard maybe..
I just want to be me..
a typical average girl..with a smile all plastered..
Nothing like the "hey..look at her.." I really hate that SHIT!
The life of the party kind..that's just not me..
I'm trying to be me..Just me with a smile...
A kid who laughs at baby jokes..I never want to grow..

It's all in the heart...who says I can't be wiser..It's all just
your perception..I'm nothing like your angels..Smart and beautiful..
the life of the party..the spotlight on them..I'm sorry to have
disappoint you..I know I'm good for nothing..I can't do much..But
I'll try to be you..if it makes you happy..

Shattered dreams in life and love..
Broken pieces of shattered glass..
I can't really be bothered at this point..
Whatever makes you happy..
I'm really tired..
Fighting battles and losing wars..
I can't be me..
'Cause you adore me in you.

a dollar

clouds of silver and grey drops a dollar in the sea of bliss.a little tap on the bed of silk..

She walks with the orange floral dangling sequins top,the flashy white pants and strawberries with that little 5strings. A little black book,broken into pieces,plastered with little smiley faces,floral edibles with sweetness like honey.An un-broken script of illusion.

undeniably true

it started with the falling of a star on to the sand field,a little bag with five gentle strings..look into the hands..it's all in your hands. Those story of the blue and black clouds falling onto the snowy land, it lasts a week or two..maybe more..bt it remains tatooed in the strawberries. broken pieces of misconception.

MIS-Perception, not the word..just the meaning

It's all in the hands,
not just yet..
Simple but..too simple..it's all so complex now.

The dark clouds come and over the clouds
rain pours..cloud embraces the rain..with the new orange top and white pants
she walks in..the sudden sun..it all seems so clear now..
Reflecting on the dangling sequins on her top to the hands..the bright clouds appear..
it's a rainbow..Nature's perfection.

Simplicity

Book.Black.Broken.

Nothing much.

A simple case of mis-perception.

Nearer than you think.

It's so near yet so far..
The heart has eyes too.=)

Learning to grow

Every step we take from where we fall is where we learn and
that's what makes us who we are.

Being laughed at for being a quitter by others is nothing compared
to being disappointed at yourself for being one. In life,we choose
to become who we want to be and sometimes we regret..isn't it obvious..
be careful what you wish for. I wished I could be this and I could be that
but stepping into those shoes is what makes a whole lot of difference.

Trying to be something you've never been is different from actually knowing
how it is to be that something. Forgive me for the blabber but the brain's so
clogged that words just pour out like the blood oozing from a stabbed person. Weird metaphor? I think so too..

Back to that pair of orange elegant floral top..She walks wearing that beautiful top
with a pair of black shorts. Yes it does match..but something catches her eyes..She stops..a beautiful pair of white pants. She pauses. Walks in and tries..shits..she hates white pants but it actually looks good on her..and it's perfect with the orange top..She happily strolls out, with full contentment..it didn't cost her much..she probably wouldn't buy it, but it was perfect for her. What you don't like may not be bad for you and what you've never tried may just be a perfect match. Which part of life? Go figure!

It seems like only yesterday

It seems only like yesterday when I finished high school..
went through a living hell in National Service, entered College
as mommy held my hand..graduated..worked for daddy..and entered SEGi..
dreading every moment of it until I met a couple of good people..=)

Right now..I'm exactly 9 hours away from starting my first official job..
well..working with daddy does not count!I wouldn't have gotten this job..or
rather have the courage to try this job if it wasn't for peanut butter and jelly..=)

I'm super nervous!!!ugh...=_='

Life flashes before you, and the next thing you know you're moving on to another phase in life..It's hard to look back and wish that you could turn back time, cause it can never happen..what you can do is look forward and make the best of what comes your way..

Knowing the bumpy roads is what makes you who you are.
A new day tomorrow, a new phase in life and a new smile.=)

Mismatched

Wow..you see that beautiful orange top..elegant.floral..you just can't resist..you get it off the shelf..ahhh...*bliss* you walk again and from the corner of your eye something catches your attention..you turn to see..Oh!What a beautiful pair of turquoise pants. A must-get. You get it off the shelf, thinking the orange floral feminine top would match well with those stylish punk-styled turquoise pants. Contented..you happily head home although you just spent a fortune.

At home you throw everything on the floor, quickly dig through the pants and the top..strip and slip in that new top and pants. You turn excitedly to face the mirror in hope that you'll see an amazing reflection. You pause. The smile disappears from the face.You spent a fortune..to look good..but the effect speaks otherwise.

You hold your head down..A beautiful top, an awesome pants...but it sure doesn't go well.*broken* Things can look good..or maybe even awesome..two beautiful things can look awesome together or..it can look like a piece of crap. Just like life.

Fairytales..

Fairytales are sugar coated reality..but..i still believe in 'em..I just wished upon a shooting star that one day..some day..there will be a prince charming to swipe me off my feet.

I'm a simple girl..who just needs four things from my prince:love me..care for me..respect me..and only have eyes for me..am I asking for too much?sighs..maybe..

However,judging from today's society..Fairytales are long gone dreams..But..I'm like a little girl who believes in true love..prince charming and happy ever afters..If I may be a sucker for love and a fool for bliss..so be it..Who knows, sometimes dreams do come true.=)

Do not cross THIS LINE!

Religion is a very sensitive topic even up to now..
Different religions have different ways of teaching but,
they have only one vision: to instill good moral values into an individual.

However, many people take religion out of context and try to convert every
one they see on the street..ugh..it's good to be religious..but not an extremist.
It's because of these few rotten apples that people stay away from religion..

We will never know which religion came first..whether it's the Catholic, Buddhism,
Hinduism, Islam or Jewish..dan lain lain..WE WILL NEVER KNOW OK? So we should all pray the way we're comfortable with..or for those who don't believe in God can just ignore the whole God thing. Just do whatever you like as long as you do not hurt others.=)

I believe in God, and I'm a Catholic. I pray my way and you pray yours, I won't convert you so please leave me alone..stop condemning my God because it's a stubborn fool talking..so please do not stereotype me as "you all Christians like to covert everyone you see.." Use those eyes to see..because not everyone is the same. Thank you very much!

The little girl behind mommy's skirt is growing up..

Being who I am,
The one who needed mommy to hold my hand when I first entered kindergarten to primary school to high school and even college.=/

Another chapter in life closes and another begins..
Nervousness shows from the sweaty palms every time I think about it..
I'm starting work..officially..an excitement overwhelms my little heart..
Yet..i fear the thought of starting my first day..It's just like the first
interview-first day of school-fear of making friends..I guess the fear of
talking to people has always been a part of me.=/

*Nervousness*

I'm starting work in exactly two days..brr...the thought of it send shivers
down my spine..I don't really understand what I'm nervous about but the fact
that I AM nervous..it's kind of frustrating..hehe..I told mommy to walk me to
my car on Monday and make me breakfast..She just smiled and hugged me..she says
i act like 10..yeesh..=/ but she offered to fetch me to work..=)

In life, we have to go through stages after stages to continue progressing..that's where the wiser man learns from the wise man..I want to be that wiser man and keep learning until the day i go 6 ft under..=) Yes, I want to be a kid...but I can be a big baby..still climb on daddy..and cuddle with mommy..but at least i'm a progressing big baby..

*Everything is going to be alright..*
*finger crosses*

Pigcess Day

Woke up in the morning with a raw tummy...
Must be due to the diarrhea I had last night..but
that didn't stop me from spicy food..hehe..A day without
spicy food is like..asking me to eat without a tongue..Everything
is tasteless, yes chili is bad for complexion and my skin has deteriorated
since the past few years but really.chili is my drug. I need to have it every
time I eat..without fail..

Went to do my x ray..hmmm..my back bone must be a snake.=/
curvylicious..hehe..=p

Then, went to lammeya to have prawn me..*spicy-less..*
I asked for more "sambal" and the really rude Myanmar cashier came up to me
and asked me rudely, you sure u can finish?? I gave you one plate of sambal already!
I looked at her in disgust and pointed the plate of sambal I had already finished..Annoyed at me..she took 10 minutes to give me.."cold sambal" from the fridge which did not look like the prawn mee sambal at all..yeesh..i asked her what it was and she said she didn't heat it up!grrrr....but the difference between the prawn mee sambal and the one she gave me is that one has oil and one doesn't. Any idiot who have eaten prawn mee would know that the prawn mee sambal is oily..She came back with the dried one..microwaved and burnt..i didn't dare touch it and in conclusion, I soaked it with soya bean..=)

Besides that annoying day,
I went to buy baby pram for my darling levy boy..haha..as weird as it may seem..I enjoyed pushing the stroller in pyramid..One thing missing? A baby of course..I wanted to steal a baby..=p super kiddy me!Sometimes I act like..2+3..=-='

Today was another pamperlicious day with full scale manja-ness..I should train all pigs in piggy-kingdom to be manja too..=)